Sunday, November 20, 2005

Reading body language

The Love Triangle

When talking impersonally with people, our eyes tend to dart back and forth between the eyes and the bridge of the nose. Yet in closer relationships such as family and friends, we spend more time looking at the mouth, thus expanding the size of this triangle. When flirting this triangle becomes about the size of the north pole… well not really, it just gets bigger and we spend more time looking at the persons mouth. It is a good sign when someone is looking at your mouth, because they will usually be thinking of what it feels like to kiss you.


Techniques called “mirroring” have been developing since the 1970s, and they demonstrate that people in rapport with each other tend to mirror each other’s body language. This happens naturally during stimulating conversations, but you can also turn it on and off at your own whim. Watch for shifts in posture or shifts in the hand that holds the glass, and casually mirror their body language, waiting around 50 seconds between each shift. You don’t need to try too hard to mirror body language, because when you are having a good time talking to someone it usually happens naturally, which is the most convincing form of mirroring. Don’t fake it (or you will probably look like a monkey in a zoo) and remember only to mirror positive body language.

The Hands

Without eye contact, the hands can tell a lot about what a person is thinking. Take a close look at the person’s hands. Unclasped hands with palms outward show they are willing and open to suggestion. Whereas clasped hands or crossed arms display reluctance and defense. Using your hands to caress objects in a rhythmic manner, such as the rim of your glasses or sleeve of your shirt, displays sensuality. Bad signs are hands in pockets, hands balled in a fist, finger tapping, drumming, or fidgety hands. Also, when we like someone we tend to unconsciously point at them subconsciously with our hands, feet, or legs. So even though the upper torso might be swiveled to the side, take a look at the feet and see if they are pointing at you.

The Eyebrow Flash

Next time you see someone you know on the street, take a close look at their eyebrows when you say hello. It only takes a split second, but when someone likes you, their eyebrows rise and fall. This gesture is observable cross-culturally, and some say it is the most instantly recognizable non-verbal sign of friendship. So make sure to give the eyebrow flash special attention with you meet that special someone hold it up for slightly longer and make sure they catch it.

The Blink Factor

Pupil size and blink rate will unconsciously increase when someone sees someone they like, so watch out for these little signs when you go for the prize at a bar this weekend. Also, to increase the chances of someone liking you, you can start blinking faster, which in turn will unconsciously try to mirror you, which in turn will stimulate a biological response that makes you both feel more attracted to each other.

No comments: